Ramsbury FC produced a great team performance to beat league rivals MTFC Devs 5-2 to progress to the Semi Final of the Cup!
Team: Ben Beasley (GK), Adam Elmer, Andy Deery, Chris Roberts (C), Dan Skipworth, Aaron Pressly, Max Derrick, Joe Greenway, Rob Pocock, Jason Walsh: Subs: Harry Lipscombe, John Ames, Jake McGrath,
Coach ‘El Tel’ Seano was delighted with the performance by all the team and especially the tempo and commitment and Ramsbury FC dominated possession and play against a young and spirited MTFC Devs. It was a strong team with a great mix of youth and experience with Ben in goal and a solid back four of Chris, Adam, Andy and Joe and Skips, Rob, Arron and Max in midfield and Nathan and Jas up front. And 3 really good subs to call on with Harry, John and Jake. All the signs were good and proved to be the case.
The damage was done in the first half as Ramsbury were 3-1 up and should have been 4-1 up if a second goal by Capt Chris Roberts hadn’t been chalked off….fair play to the very good young ref as Chris getting one goal in a match is a jaw dropper and rarer than Wiltshire tradey not drinking Thatchers at lunch time…..but to have scored 2 goals in the first half would have defied Einstein’s theory of relativity and made Stephen Hawkins spin in his Westminster Abbey grave!
Luckily the young ref, who was very good for a very young lad, came to his senses and realised that he would have completely upset the laws of everything and reached into his inner Tao, and his pocket, and blew on the whistle of sensibility and disallowed a certain goal to keep the score at a reasonable 3-1. Phew…..said everyone….apart from Chris who said something else that wasn’t phew. Adam and Andy D shrugged and Joe just did what Joe always does which is burst down the wing with ridiculous speed. And the world was at peace once again.
Other scorers for Ramsbury were Nathan and Max with the former looking more and more like an extra in the Arnie film Commando with the Devs kids bouncing off him like minions in Despicable Me 3 every time he had the ball; and Max gliding about like a modern day Steve Highway (look him up on Wikipedia kids) as he went past MTFC Devs with ease and looked like he hadn’t even broken sweat. I would love to say I saw their goals, or Chris’ if I am being honest but I would be lying as per usual I was late and had to be told the score by the Club Chair Andy Knowles who did say just use your imagination! So I have.
I did watch much of the second half where apparently Rob scored yet another worldy that is absolutely bang on for a Puskas award and made it 4-1 with Ramsbury running away with the game as the midfield dominated and Jas and Nathan terrified the MTFC Devs defence. But then the 60 minute mark wall was hit and there were more players blowing like humpback whales at a North Californian whale watching convention as the ground seemed to get very heavy and positional play was a long distant memory as the Ramsbury players were dreaming of the pub, lying on the sofa after a hot shower or who they might be playing in the semi’s…..when MTFC Devs bagged another goal and the horrible reality of another 30 minutes of footy kicked in!
Ramsbury looked bewildered as they had played the better football, had awesome Ben in goal and were playing against kids….how could there be only two goals in it? And then even worse the very good young ref gave a harsh penalty decision against the goal god that is Chris Roberts and MYFC Devs had a chance to make it 4-3 with 15 minutes to go! It was not going well and El Tel Seano’s mood had changed.
But for once the karma football god looked favourably on Ramsbury FC and the young lad who stepped up to take the pen was blinded by the brilliance of keeper Ben and unsettled by the dark arts of penalty skulduggery by Andy D and definitely thought he was aiming at a red kite soaring above the tree tops as he ballooned the pen so far over the bar it was called in by the Captain of flight BA401 on its way to Washington…..and the score remained 4-2. Phew said Chris….or words to that effect.
Ramsbury then woke up, well some did and some didn’t, subs were made and Harry ‘Point Break’ Lipscombe and his flowing locks replaced Adam E and later on John A and Jake M came on to breathe life into a tiring Ramsbury side and it was a great move by El Tel Seano who handed the lino flag to some random spectator as he masterminded the remaining 9 minutes of the match. It was pure gaffer magic as the reaction was an Aaron P rocket that saw Ramsbury get their 5th goal and send the 50 plus spectators into raptures as Ramsbury went 5-2 up. Pure managerial brilliance…apparently?
The end, however, was nigh as MTFC Devs heads dropped as they knew the game was done and even some late flourishes by their willing and very fit midfielders and wingers were not enough to provide one last hurrah as the game ended 5-2 to Ramsbury and the guarantee of a cup semi final.
It was a great result and a great team performance with Rob P getting MoM mainly because he brought his 1 week only baby to the pub and El Tel Seano is a huge softy….but also because of his Puskas goal (they are all worldies to Rob!)…but mainly because there were 5 different scorers and El Tel Seano can only spell Rob…Ive seen the team sheet!
Everyone was MoM in the crowd’s eyes as the spectators that toughed out the cold damp conditions were treated to a local derby win and a the prospect of a great semi final match. Good luck in the semi final boys!
Please note: this is a work of pure fiction and not to be take seriously. All names are vaguely familiar and some parts of the match were watched by the reporter.
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